Adeola Kingsley-James

Life Giver and King Maker

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We Meet, You Speak, We Ignite, You Shine.
As a stepmother, I am keenly aware that balancing and managing the different layers of relationships in a blended home can leave one feeling frustrated, unaccepted, unappreciated, inadequate, insecure and lonely. One thing I know for sure is it is very possible to feel wholesome, loved and fulfilled again. That is what Owning My Greatness was birthed for, to show YOU how to rediscover your greatness and own it without any apologies.
I help Stepmothers feel Safe, Secure, Confident, Satisfied and Supported in their journey to becoming phenomenal without any apologies.
As a result of what I do as a Lead Confidence, Creative and Clarity genius at Owning My Greatness, Stepmothers are able to find true inner peace, inner joy, feel appreciated, supported and loved again. I am looking for Stepmothers who desire to re-discover their greatness and own it without any apologies. Who do you know?

About Owning My Greatness

Owning My Greatness (OMG) was birthed because I (Adeola Kingsley-James, Life-Giver and King Maker at OMG) made a lot of mistakes in my early years of marriage as a stepmother, there were no support groups for people like us neither was it a topic people were willing to speak about openly, it seemed like a taboo in Nigeria. So I decided to create a safe space for stepmothers in Nigeria where I can share all I have learnt along the way, the tools I have used, the steps I took that has led me to peace, the mistakes I made and the things I wish I knew. I have decided to be the voice to share how phenomenal we are as stepmothers and how precious we also are. I believe everyone especially stepmothers have greatness in them, my job is to help you rediscover it and how to own it. I will support you so that you are confident enough to live a life of your own design. I’ve always enjoyed helping people shine, for if you shine, you give others the permission to shine also. People can move mountains, especially when they have the right help. Have I reached where I want to be? No, however, I am far from where I started from so I invite you to join me on the journey and set up an intro session and we can create new possibilities for you.

4 STEP FRAMEWORK

  • If you do not know your identity and who you are, you will answer to anything you are called: The first step is to run a diagnosis on yourself, this is the stage where we stake stock and YOUR identity is looked into. So Who are you? Who do you say you are? Who do people say you are? Who do you show yourself as? How do people perceive you when they meet you? How do people treat you? How do you treat yourself? How do you speak about yourself? Are you the type that makes a mistake and you call yourself unspeakable names? What words do you use on yourself? Who do you want to be? How do you want to be perceived by people?
  • The way you speak to people is most likely the way you speak to yourself. So I ask how do you speak to people? The words you speak are very important. Words create your life and experiences. Period.
  • What do you see? How do you see what you see? When God spoke to Abraham, he said he will give him as far as his eyes could see, so if Abraham only saw VI, that’s all he would have got, but he was called the father of all nations, so my question to you is, what do you see about yourself and others.
  • The world will only treat you the way you treat yourself and how you teach them to treat you: Do you constantly judge yourself? criticize yourself? are you hard on yourself? All these answers will be answered.
  • You will do a check in the 4 key areas of your life, Health and wellness, Relationships, Spirituality and Finances/Wealth and score yourself. Where you currently are in these stages will show you who you are as a person.
  • You also can’t keep doing the same thing and expect a different result. When you own yourself, you are able to see the true you. One thing you will surely gain is that you clearly can see how you show up for yourself and how you have taught people to treat you and start taking the right steps to make the change you desire.
  • Once the diagnosis is done in the ownership phase: The result will be that you will have hindsight, current sight and fore-sight of who you are and how you have gotten yourself to where you are.
  • You want to recreate the ideal/dream life you truly want to live and who you now want to be, who you want to show up as, who you want to be seen as, what you want to be appreciated for, how you want to be seen, how you want to be spoken to, how you will start to speak to yourself, the kind of joy you want to have, how much fun you want, the kind of family you want to be a part of, how much money you want to have, how much clarity you want to have, the type of job you will love to do e.t.c. You begin to show up differently in the world.
  • Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and expecting the person to die: Here, Using forgiveness exercises, You will spend as long as you need to forgive yourself and others and allow people go for your freedom because you can not go forward if you do not clear the baggage you have been carrying of yourself and others for so long.
  • You are a co-creator of your life and experiences and can create the lifestyle you absolutely deserve and desire: In this phase, you enter creator mode and start with I AM and I CAN, for anything after I AM or I CAN is creating something powerful. So words like I am Secure, Enough, Beautiful, Powerful will fill your vocabulary. You will create a powerful I AM mantra and write it down. You will record it on your phone and listen to it daily reminding yourself of who you are and is becoming for repetition leads to mastery. You must choose a time daily preferably in the morning when you wake up, and do this exercise daily, you can write it on post-it notes, paste it everywhere in your house, save it on your phone and create alarms for it till you become it. So when people call you a name that isn’t what you call yourself, you will be able to say that is not me for you now know yourself, you start to show up less where you are not called because now, you know who you are, you are no longer weak and helpless or powerless and depleted. You have become powerful, clearer and more confident.
  • The next phase is you Grow…
  • At this point, you would have identified where you want to get better at and be a master in, you have recreated the life you want to live, and there are places where you need to grow, this could be in emotional intelligence, knowing yourself better, personal development, communication with yourself and others, how to stop self-sabotage, etc.
  • You are a victim of nature and nurture: 85% of what we have registered in our brain happened between the ages of 0 and 8 years old. Because of this, you would have imbibed a lot of your parent’s beliefs, culture has done its deposits, religion has put its deposits, the environment has also done its deposits in you. You will have to rebuild your entire mindset and attitude, you will unlearn, relearn and learn.
  • You need to look for coaches in all the areas you want to improve in and pay for coaches like myself, register for their courses, go to conferences and seminars, work on you and help break the limiting beliefs you currently have. You will follow them closely.
  • This is the stage you work on your passion and focus on your purpose in life, you can create new goals for yourself and your family and make sure you follow through with them, for repetition leads to mastery.
  • You are determined to be a learner for life and you can learn from everything and everyone. You are open and receptive to everything around you. Your children, stepchildren, husband, friends, everyone will speak and you learn for you listen for insights.
  • At this point, you have taken absolute responsibility for your experience and you no longer blame others for where you are. When you have conversations and they go peer shaped, rather than blame others, you ask how you contributed to the conversation and how you made it uncomfortable for by now, you will have learnt how to care front and stop confronting.
  • You now have peace within you, which at this point is non-negotiable. By this time, you will understand that we are all connected through the same source and we all exist for one another. You are compassionate, you have empathy for everyone because you now understand that everyone is going through their own phase in life. The heaven within you is so sure that the hell without has no hold on you. This is the bliss you feel at this stage.
  • At this stage you have taken full responsibility for who you were, you have recreated your dream world and now living it, you have grown and are still growing, you know who you are and can boldly raise your head up, you are able to show up for yourself.
  • You have your goals clearly written out, you have the mantra that you repeat daily, you know what you want to achieve and you are well on the way to achieving it. You are meditating daily, journaling, scripting because you know how important it is to keep coding and calling it in. You are able to look for reasons to feel good and you find them easily.
  • You are bold, competent, you are unapologetic about who you are becoming. You can now have meaningful conversations with people, create healthy boundaries for yourself, say no with a smile. You are creating more empowering beliefs about yourself and others. Your attitude is gratitude always.
  • At this point, other people’s opinion about you at best is what it is, their opinion. It does not change you, if they say anything of merit you can use to become better, you take it and use and the rest that is not you throw away easily. At this point, nothing shakes or phases you. The heaven within you, no one can touch it. You have nothing to prove, defend, hide or defend. You are confident and know your self-worth.
  • Your power is absolutely in your hands. You do not put your essence in the weaknesses of others because you realise you cannot depend on others for the things you deeply need to exist. Shinning is inevitable at this point, You now shine unapologetically, you do not need anybody’s permission to be you anymore.
  • You take responsibility for any experience you have for you to know you have the capacity to change anything. You pat yourself on the back and tell yourself you are doing a great job always. You look in your mirror and hail yourself, nothing can shape, shake or break you because you are sure of who you truly are. You shine bright like a diamond.

I help Stepmothers feel Safe, Secure, Confident, Satisfied and Supported in their journey to becoming phenomenal without any apologies.

We are in the business of performing miracles.