03 Apr

What to do if your step kids other parent hates you

A blended family is not an easy task and we all know that. One common challenge stepmothers face is hatred from the other mother. In your own home, the going might be good; kids love you and all of that. So what do you do when their parents hate you, and they resent you for everything you do? Do you fight back? Here are some tips on how to handle hatred from the other parent.

1. The kids are non-negotiable
You know what you signed up for and it’s to create a beautiful family with your husband and his kid(s). Don’t let any other thing take that from you. When both of you make everything all about your feelings, you risk passing the hatred through the children or it might even create an unhealthy environment for them. Don’t let the kids come in between your scuffle.

2. Set boundaries
It’s expected that negative feelings will show up especially when you get married to someone they were once in love with or maybe still in love with. If the other parent hates you, it shouldn’t stop you from making efforts to make your blended family better.
You will have to create certain boundaries that will let her know her place. You have the most business with the kids , not her.

3. Lower your expectations
You shouldn’t lower standards for your home, but you should lower expectations of the ex. You shouldn’t expect them to be happy, or be overly cordial with you no matter how much of a good person you are. Lowering your expectations will save you from getting disappointed.

4. Be strategic and not emotional
When dealing with an angry person, you have to be strategic and not emotional. You shouldn’t make decisions on how you feel, instead you should consider how your actions are going to affect things and every other person involved. You have to plan your moves very carefully.

5. Give her time
You might be wondering why she doesn’t like you. Well, it’s not far-fetched, maybe she hasn’t processed how fast things changed, the way you have. She could be too proud to acknowledge your presence. She might not see you in the parenting scene yet, but you have to understand that’s her problem not yours.

It’s easy to keep wondering why the other mum hates you, but at the end of it all, the relationship you have with her isn’t personal, it’s business. Once again, set your boundaries.

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