12 Feb

A stepmom’s love language

Even though there are five love languages, as written by Dr. Chapman, we like to believe that there are other ways that people can express and demand for love, especially as step moms.
Step mothers deserve all the love they can receive because taking care of a blended family is not a child’s
play. The five love languages as written by Dr Gary Chapman
includes;
●Words of affirmations
●Quality time
●Physical touch
●Acts of service
●Receiving gifts
Having a blended family could has its own peculiarities,but with patience, grace, teamwork and effective communication, it will definitely work out.
Here are some of a stepmom’s love language listed below.

1.Patience
Your spouse should not be expected to settle into the idea of a blended family quite easily or immediately. Unlike the biological mother of your children, who is able to accept your kids’ transgressions more easily because they are her blood. A step mom needs a bit of time to settle in. Just like no one is joyful, bubbling and loving at all times a stepmom needs that understanding too sometimes. The love has and will grow gradually and naturally.

2.Listening skills
Most times, a step mom has no clue of what expect in a blended home. She really loves you but it could be hard to accept the baggage that comes with you and all that is suddenly expected of her. She wasn’t expecting to be splitting finances or sharing her space or having your attention divided between her, kids and another woman. She needs you to listen to her when she states her concerns and maybe disappointments.

3.Respect
She needs you to respect her views when situations arise within the family. Things could have been different with your former spouse and you might have developed an array of emotions or traditions that affects the relationship between you and your ex with regards the kids.
Your partner may come in by offering a little advice or possible solutions to you when trying to solve conflicts. She will feel an importance when you seek her advice or ask for her opinions too.

4.Support
Your wife will definitely receive criticism from outside, meanwhile step moms take their role very seriously.
Here, you need to stand up for her and support her. You should be her motivation when or if she ever gives in to the chatter and feels like a failure. Even at times when you need to sort an issue, bring it up over a romantic dinner and let her know how amazing it is. Get creative and aligned where possible.

5.Space
Kids are known to be all over the house. They play everywhere and are literal noisemakers.
Oftentimes, one might need space from all this but your wife needs it more, she might not be used to the chaos, especially if she doesn’t have kids of her own yet.
You could create a personal space for her that’s off-limits to the kids or buy her a new rocking chair on the porch. That way she will have more energy and be able to give out to the family. Or create avenues where she gets to go away for a couple of days and be alone and fill her cup up again. Space helps everyone.

Conclusion
When you cater to your spouse’s needs and pay sincere attention to her, she will feel appreciated, respected, understood and loved. It will even spur her on to become the best version of a stepmother can be. Your blended family will be everything you’ve always envisioned and your kids will be able to have a feel of what a healthy marriage is.

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