Being a stepmom in a blended home is not an easy task. One thing you have to remember is that you can never be perfect, so don’t be hard on yourself. The world is filled with people having different opinions, and humans can’t have the same behaviors, boundaries, choices etc. Here are some tips you need to stop paying attention to:
1.What others think when she enforces her boundaries
Boundaries are definitely necessary. If you don’t set boundaries, then anyone will just have the opportunity to walk over you. At times, your boundaries might seem too much, or selfish but you just have to ignore the criticism as long as you are sure it’s of benefit to you, and your mental health.
Having no boundaries or relaxing your boundaries might lead to resentment, hurt or anger.
2.What other parents(Single/not) think about her
Being a stepmom could be a tough role. You have to work on the relationship between you and your step kids, and even their mother. You do not have the time to be bothered about what other parents think of you. Some parents will criticize you for being a stepmom or even try to teach you how to run your home and affairs. Just like creating boundaries, you’ve got to shut out the noise. Avoid going to friends to seek advice, that way you could be spilling so much information about your home.
3.What others think of her role in the house
A stepmom is expected to take on a motherly role in the home- take care of her step kids and do home chores, but stepmothers can never be the real mother. It can be tough to be distant(with boundaries), and still be close at the same time. Outsiders will have something to say about how you play your role in the home. Some might say you are too close, or acting too much like the real mother. The solution to this is still the same, shut out the noise.
4.Why other people won’t stop talking about the way she runs her family
You don’t need to be bothered about people being in your business. People will always talk, that’s a fact. Instead, you need to learn how to make things work within your home.
With a good attitude, you can work on your perceived parenting weaknesses and turn them into strengths. Nevertheless, your flaws and strengths should be accepted, and loved. Trying to be perfect all the time, or trying to meet up to standards set by the society can end up affecting your relationships, especially the one you have with your step kids.